What they don’t teach you at IIM A

Well I’m not attempting to do a McCormack here..but just wanted to share an essential feature that we overlook at the best B-School in APAC. What I’m gonna talk bout is ‘Table manners’....the reason being ..that i’ve recently had to change gears from being a carefree student to a pseud (if i spell this one wrong...it’s only coz this word never existed in my dictionary) i-banker....and that transition is becoming a li’l more difficult for me to absorb than the overnite 35 degree drop in temperature...which happened when i moved in from peak kolkata summers to peak Sydney winters.
Ok so how difficult is it to expect a person to adapt to situation 2 from situation 1 –

Situation 1 –
Scene location: Dorm 4, top floor, IIM A
Context: 15 hungry inmates....awaiting delivery of a consignment of assorted paranthas ordered from a local restaurant...all in their rooms ... the environment is as calm as can be.

Ok..now the parantha man comes up to the 2nd flr and calls out for one of us....and then suddenly..those privileged to be a part of the 2nd floor spring out of their rooms (1st floor guys flollow suit..) and dart at the delivery guy as if a vulture had found its prey..and before the guy would know what hit him...he would be standing in a lone corner with a bill in his hand with no takers for the same ...and off course the paraanthas would by now have been half eaten...or should I say devoured .. in a fashion that would be best understood by ppl who have seen the scene in Amitabh and Hema Malini’s “Satte pe Satta” where 7 men hit out for the food....but guess what..food never tasted better....i guess we guys are used to competition everywhere....and we kinda love it!!!
..oh ya..an important fact that I missed...I am one of the 15...and spent my 2 years in Dorm 4 ..on the 2nd floor

Situation 2 –
Scene location – The most expensive steakhouse in Sydney city....basically meant for the corpos who can gobble as much at their company’s expense...on account of client entertainment.
Context: My boss includes me in for a team lunch...basically hosted by his boss who has come down from overseas.
Ok...now assume that the parantha guy is transformed into a waiter who comes upto you to carefully handover an exotic looking menu and is careful to place it on teh right side of the table... First..u better say ‘thank you very much’....else.u are the odd man out...( am just wondering how the parantha guy wud’ve taken to such courtesy...). Ok so now u have the menu with u...u open it...u go thru it once...and then once more...and then u wish u had taken the german class back at IIM A a li’l more seriously...coz u wud’ve understood the menu better....but just then u realise that the full menu is in english. WOW!!! So now u are stuck in a situation where u see the rest of the gang carefully explaining to the waiter what they want...and how they want it cooked , and u have no clue of whether what is mentioned in there is food..or something else. And top that with the fact that u’re a veggie. ( I wud’ve felt more comfortable doing stochastic calculus..than placing my order). Now the waiter comes to u...in the faintest possible voice u ask the waiter if he has something vegetarian...hoping that he would suggest something and all u wud do is say “ yeah..that sounds grt ..get me that..” and get out of the muddle. But no ..this is a steakhouse that has 4 veg dishes !!!...so he points to the 4 dishes...and u are forced to take a 3rd look at the cryptic symbols....whew!!!
Anyways..u go for the safe option and ask him to get what he feels is the best. He finally leaves...u think u managed to survive the battle....but no dear...the WAR has just begun. So as it happened with me..10m later when we were busy drinking wine( something i’m relatively more comfortable with) and I was trying to desperaely to show that I was understanding all of what was being discussed...the waiter comes and deposits a small dish on my table and walks off. So 9 faces staring at me and the dish now. I look down and see something that resembles a scoop of cream over some neatly cut carrots and some other stuff which did not look so veggie veggie to me...also I thought that the helping was too small to constitute lunch. I waited for the others to get served...but lo..the waiter never returned... So helpless as I was I took the fork ( assuming that the dish was veg.) and was about to dig into it...when the waiter comes running to me and asks me if I had ordered the’xyz’ dish...i hadn’t the faintest idea of what I’d ordered...forget what was on my plate. Sooner than later he realised that he had served the dish to the wrong table ( and later I heard dat its main ingredient was pork)...Survived that one !!!
Ok now the waited comes in again and serves brown bread and butter for starters. This looked easy. But aah it wasn’t. As luck would have it I started on the bread that was kept on my right hand side( next to my super boss who was busy talking to take notice). Then suddenly he( s. Boss) looks to his left and then to his right...and poor guy realises that there’s no bread for him. And then I realised that we’re supposed to consume the one on our left....just wondering whether I wud’ve ever got a bite of a paraantha if I were so careful....Neways I managed to swallow this one too. I had to ...coz there was more coming...I could sense it !!!
Next comes the main course. Mine had loads of brocolli and other Ghaans phus..they expected me to eat dat...and dat to wid a fork n knife... I desparately tried to find a substance on my plate which was easily eatable with the stainless steel instruments...but off course..I was destined to be the joker on the table for the day...how would there have been any....
So where I saw everyone else eat with utmost comfort..I wud sometimes try and gobble in a large piece of ghanns phus and then like a cow ..munch and munch and wait for the entire piece to go into my mouth. It was hard..but I cudn’t complain...infact I smiled and even made polite conversation simultaneously... man..some steep learning curve I would call this!!!
So anyways twas time for desserts..and though things looked tempting..I wanted to avoid uncertainty of any kind...so I ordered a latte....and nothing went wrong with that!!! (flashback over...back to the present now )
So the point here is that why is this not a part of a ‘soft skills’ course at IIMA. We do every possible quantitative model in the book to be able to prepare us for i-banks...but what we forget is that there’s a very high weightage given to such soft skills outside academic life. This definitely needs a lot more attention espl. If one goes overseas..and atleast 1/3 of our batch does that. Maybe we could start with using knife and fork for the paraanthas...only I’m a li’l scared that we would be using them to get to the paraanthas ..than to actually eat ‘em.

Chak de....a winner !!!

...is it Shahrukh's new look...is it his acceptance of his own age and hence the roles that suit him now ..is it a new found love for hockey ( just in case...)...is it a spirit of patriotism...is it the realistic picture portrayed of Indian National Women's Hockey..the dialogues..or is it just Preeti Saberwal (for those not in the know bout the last one...pls do go for the movie and be in the know...highly recommended!!!)

..well if I were answering an MCQ type paper I would have gone for all of the above. However , having said that, if I could summarise the one reason for success, which may seem latent, I would say ..its just hitting on the right nerve of the Indian public..ie show them success that has come from oodles and oodles of hard work and after wading through an ocean of uncertainties..so that they can for a few moments forget their own personal failures in life and see their own dreams fulfilled...see hard work bear fruit...see life being fair for once..see a a common man/woman turn into a legend...something they wanted to be..and off course..if all this is served to you with sports as a theme...nothing can stop your adrenaline rushing even though you know what the final score line would read at the end of the movie .....u knew it in 'Jo Jeeta Wahi Sikander"...u did so in 'Lagaan'..as much in 'Tara Rum Pum' .....in 'Iqbal' and u do so already in the yet to release 'Goal'.

However the movie could have been poorly made too!!! kudos to Yashji for giving us what I would call "SRKs comeback"....some of the things that I really liked here were

- SRK ...yes he was good...no melodrama..no stereo type..plain simple to the point.....just what u would expect from a coach

- The dialogues...the three that really hit me were...
" I am the coach of the Indian national women's team....Mujhe states ke naam na to sunai dete hai......."
" is team mein ek hi gunda hai..aur woh mai hoon."
and the one on
" Sattar minute....sattar minute hai tumhaare paas..."

the last one seeks to convey that one's moments of success are one's own...no one else can take them away...this is just so true for born day dreamers (like me)...who liven up moments of helplessness by going back in time and recalling some victorious incident...inch by inch..

- The team and the behind the scene realities....now there are advantages of having 25+ states....movie makers can cash in on so much variety and chak de surely did. I thought each character in the team was very well characterised ..everyone met a certain clearly defined objective.... and there was again nothing overdone here...everyone had a peculiar trait and that was exploited to the fullest...

- the indirect cricket bashing throughout the movie....the comparison between Indian cricket and Hockey was vividly emphasised.....and I’m sure even the regular “Sachin is God” believers didn’t mind for a change...

- the final moments of the game....we all knew it had to end in a penalty shootout....here though I would’ve personally proffered a goal rather than a save determine the victory......I guess I like attacking a lot more.....

So all in all ...a well made film. In fact I had the privilege of seeing this in Sydney where just behind me sat 5 middle aged aussies (don’t ask me what they were doing there !!!) who actually waited in anticipation for the last penalty hit....who would win was suspense for them...and trust me they looked disappointed with the result (whew...)
....but that just leads me to think....how would the movie have done had they left the hall with smiling faces.....

Making aloo ki sabji – from a amateur ....for an amateur

Ok...let me start by naming this ...’cookery special – 1’...just in case it gets famous in due time and the TV channels get after me..
Background –
An Indian guy who loves Indian veggie food (espl. North Indian) has had to shift base from India to Sydney for work. In 26 years he has learnt to make tea, toast bread ( and put jam and butter if reqd.) , make cornflakes ( other variants include Milo, wheat flakes etc.) roast papads...and ....hmmm....mmmm.....I can’t think of anything more. So now this guy, who believes that the most difficult time he’s faced ( wrt food) in life was when he had to suffice with dabbawallas in Mumbai when he was working there, is faced with an issue – he’s in Sydney..he loves veggie Indian food...there are no dabbawallas in Sydney...in short ...HE NEEDS TO COOK BY HIMSELF !!! (The sad part – that’s my story...)

Ok...so I had to accept my fate....and take the plunge with the ‘frying pan and the fire’... So soon enough I was taking instructions from my mom ...sitting in Calcutta ( and enjoying the fun...I heard a few laughs in the background..That I suspect was my dad.....what had I come to !!!)
Ok so lesson 1 – the easiest sabzi to make ( espl . given my taste ) is aloo ki sabzi. ..it wasn’t so easy by the time I had finished though!!!
Start by taking potatoes....put them in a cooker...fill it up partially with water....then put it on the gas ...and wait. Let the cooker’s whistle blow 7-8 times...thats to make the aloo soft and warm...yeah so when it becomes’ bahar se ruf n tuf aur andar se naram and garam’ you can take it out.
Caution – avoid burning your fingers as I did by touching the potatoes directly. In case they have not yet become soft you may need to give it a whistle or two more....
Yeah now peel the potatoes...u gotta do it while they’re hot...that’s the tuff part L...after that cut it into the size that you think you’ll be able to make it edible.
Ok now take your pan...put some oil in it...wait for it to become slightly warm...then put rai (dunno the English equivalents ...and a bit lazy to google it out) and jeera in it....what you need to avoid is what I did...In my first attempt I accidentally put soem water on the warm oil..and that had reactins similar to putting a sodium/potassium mass in water...a pthetic experience...so I started again....this time I managed to overheat it and the rai/jeera got burnt and off course the fire alarm blew off coz I had not put on the exhaust ( ....so I started again!!! thats Lesson 2 for you– be persuasive)
Now I forgot to tell you...you’re not just supposed to stand and stare at the cooker and wait for the whistle to blow...you need to cut tomatoes while that happens. Try and cut one tomato for every 3-4 aloo pcs. that you take...cut them as small as you can..next you do the same with onions ( can be avoided if u want the easy way out and are not too fussy about taste )....put the tomatoes into the pan and keep stirring til it forms into a paste...this would take some time.
Now dump the potatoes into the pan and stir. You could mash it too if you want it that way. Next – a very important component – salt,masalas,chilli powder – the trio – that could make your cooking range from very good to absolutely pathetic....and you don’t want that to happen after having taken the trouble to burn your fingers , dirtied your clothes, messed up the kitchen and whatever else that may have befallen. So do add them small instalments ...and keep tasting till you’re sure it’s edible. Abou t the masalas...I put sabzi ka masala, dhaniya powder, hing powder, garam masala and one more ...can’t remember the name. Add lime. Keep stirring and let it cook for some 10-12 minutes...
And your Aloo is ready to eat !!!!!!
I had quite a time with mine....but it eventually turned out not so bad....have stored some for the morning too...so that’s an indication..Good luck with your attempt!!!

Disclaimer – The above activity has been undertaken by a person highly un-skilled and incompetent in this field. It may be dangerous trying it at home. Do at your own risk. The author takes no responsibility for any damages that may arise on account of the same. Thank you.

The IIMA Alumni meet in Sydney...

As the saying goes..'Man is a social Animal'....yeah I just discovered that he truly is.

Having been posted to Sydney with an i-banking job from campus I became the pioneer of sorts...being the first one ever to be placed 'down under' directly from campus. Australia is a territory which the IIM A placement committee (placecomm) had not managed to enter...off course until I got the offer to break the ice....thanks to my H1B which could not for some reason get processed. So I arrived in the land of health freaks ( trust me, aussies are paranoid about jogging...its not so strange to find your lady boss, who also happens to be a director, get into what an Indian would call "skimpy clothing" and go out jogging/running some 8-10 km in peak sydney winter during lunch...and then come back and begin work with no signs of tiredness !!!)

Now having been sent to Sydney with no batchmates i a 100 km in sight, nor a privilege of too many friends here.....the smartest move ( I realise now) I made was to get a list of emails of all alums working/residing here. There were some 15 names I got.....good enough to make a start.


So after I was sufficiently bored by the end of the 4th week...I began my barrage of mails to these alumni for a meet. To my surprise I realised that this was met with an over enthusiastic response....it was almost as though they thought of me to be a 'farishta' ...... a God sent messenger who was here to make them meet !!! it felt great...

So, on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, which also happened to be friendship's day, Sydney hosted its 1st ever IIM Ahmedabad ( for the un-initiated IIM A is also referred to as WIMWI or The Well Known Institute of Management in Western India) reunion at Ripples cafe - an exotic location..with the Harbour bridge just above and the Opera House in sight in full bloom. This apparently is also the spot where Aamir Khan dated Priety Zinta for the first time in Sydney in Dil Chahta Hai!!!....by mentioning this I dont mean to bring in any romantic angle here....sorry to disappoint.
The informal gathering had 9 WIMWIANS ( and 13 including spouse). The gang had a batch representation from the early 70’s to the last passing batch of 2007 (that's me...the lone bachelor in the group). There were the Senior citizens and there was me...not yet a citizen of Kangaroo land. Although majorly skewed to the batches of the 70’s and the 80’s... it was one big IIM A party... An excellent lot of ppl.... many who were meeting for the 1st time after being in Sydney for 20 odd yrs.!!! To be in the centre of it, I thought, was my privilege.
Off-course there was the vivid recollection of the WAC runs, Rambhai, the D11 (or was it 13) ice-cream parlour and the "tasteless" mess food ( man...somethings never change!!!)...of their times...
I,for one had a great time acquainting them with the new happenings on campus, the concept of dorm names on campus ( many didn’t have it in their times and trust me they did find it amusing!!!..I would love to get into details of some of them ..but I'll avoid..lest my blog becomes accessible to 18 yrs. ans above only..), the euphoria of T-nite, the sea change in the placement scene , the underpass, the new campus etc etc...It was great to have found an IIM A family in Aussie land coz I was begining to feel home-sick.

And wait.....then came the jackpot....when the ladies in the group realised that I was still a bachelor...."we're gonna find a girl for you here"...that was music to my ears....and then they actually started rattling of names of prospective Indian Australian spinsters that they knew of who could fit the bill!!!...things do work fast when it come to Indian women and match-making...
Well, mush as I wanted ....we could not belt out our patent

"IIMA ka tempo high hai...baki saabki leli....zig zag zig zag..." ( for the uninitiated...that’s our pre-historic...yet very effective tempo shout)

coz most, I thought ,would not have had the energy to scream...and I doubt if the Aussies around would've appreciated..

So there ended our meet....with lots of cards and ph. nos being exchanged....and plans of arranging for a cricket match for the next meet. I came home satisfied...having found a family away from home....yeah that should I hope take care of my dinner/lunch reqmts. for a few weekends :)

Cheer’s to our Alumni ( and their spouse) everywhere around the world !!!